“I don’t know if I felt anything, it all happened so fast and I’m scared. What will Lauren say? What if I did feel something? What if I like Peyton? Pa I don’t know what to do.” Jen started to have trouble breathing, and her heart raced. Her head was saying one thing, her heart another.

            “Why don’t we go home and sit down and talk this out or you can sleep on it.”

            “I can’t Lauren’s coming over; I can’t see her like this. She’ll know something’s wrong. She’s already mad at me. I can’t tell her this.”

            “Call her up, tell her something came up so you can’t see her later but you’ll call as soon as you can, then we’ll go home and you and your dad can talk. He’s good at this stuff.”

            “I guess, yeah, that’s a good idea.” A few seconds late Jen was pulling out her cell phone calling Lauren.

            “Something came up, so my pa says you can’t come over. I’ll call you later tonight or tomorrow morning.”

            “Are you okay?”

            “Yeah, just something I need to deal with. But I’ll call you and don’t worry.”

            “Okay, take care. I love you.”

            “Okay, Bye.”

            Later at the house Jen was dressed in her comfiest close wrapped up in her parents’ comforter on their bed between them. “God I’m being such a chick about his.”

            “I’m sorry to break it to you hun but you are a chick.” Scottie said trying to lighten the mood.

            “You know what I mean, I don’t cry and normally I can solve this stuff on my own. Why am I so god-damn emotional about this? It was one stupid, tiny, insignificant, meaningless, 5 second, peck, between friends that mean absolutely nothing.”

            “You know that if it didn’t mean anything like you said it did you wouldn’t be reacting this way. It’s not the kiss your panicking over it’s the situation surrounding the kiss and what it means that you’re freaking about.” Scottie said in a carrying fatherly way. “Let’s face it Lauren and you are adorable together but you’ve been fighting a lot lately and high school is the time to have lots of new different experiences, date lots of people and not be stuck with one. You’ve been with Lauren for years now. You haven’t got to experience dating anyone else or being single.”

            Jen looked between her fathers back and forth almost a bit mad. “What are you saying? Do you want me to break up with her?”

            “No it’s not like that at all, we just want you to get the most out of life and we think that maybe you guys should take a break for a little while. You don’t have to but maybe you should consider it as one of your options.” Jen’s Pa said trying to be as nice about it as possible.

            “I can’t believe you two. You know how I feel about Lauren. It’s the real deal. I’m just confused. Peyton’s messing with my head but thanks to you two it’s all cleared up. Lauren is the one I want to be with. Peyton, well it was just a kiss.” Jen got up from the bed and headed out the door and down the stairs to the front door slipping on her favourite pair of running shoes grabbing her MP3 player from the bench. Slamming the front door behind her for effect.  

            “Jen get back here. Don’t go. You can’t always run from your problems.” Cory said as he ran down the stairs after her. Scottie was close behind him.

            “Let her go, she’ll be back. You remember what it was like at her age, we should be thankful she actually talks to us about this stuff.”

            Jen shoved the ear buds in her ears taking of down the street, making a left, then a right, and a couple more turns heading towards her favourite place. It was the cliff. It was about 5 km run from her house but the view was spectacular. You could see clear across to a tiny little island near by. Not an exotic island but an island non-the-less. She sat at the edge of the cliff looking down into the dark waters, the moonlight reflecting off the water making everything beautiful. Tears running down her face.

            She didn’t like the thoughts she was feeling deep inside. She didn’t want to agree with her parents but yet a part of her did. She and Lauren had a long relationship; it was the longest relationship she or any of her friends had, had. She wasn’t ready to give it up, especially for Peyton, someone who’s not even sure she’s gay or likes female at all. Peyton could just be trying the waters with Jen. God! Why did she have to feel this way right now?? Lauren and Jen were already going through a rough patch they didn’t need this. Then of course Nationals were only 2 weeks away. She didn’t need or want this, not right now, not ever.

            Her pocket began to vibrate and sing

“Th- that don't kill me

can only make me stronger

I need you to hurry up now

cause Ii can't wait much longer

I know I got to be right now

cause I cant get much wronger

man I've been waitin all night now

that's how long I've been on ya”

            She flipped it open pulling out her ear plugs. Curious as to who it was not recognizing the number.

            “Hello?” Trying to mask the fact her voice was crackling because she was upset.

            “Hi, Jen it’s Peyton. How are you, you sound upset? Did I catch you at a bad time?”

            “No, not at all. I was just thinking. What’s up?”

            “I just wanted to say sorry about today and I don’t want it to affect our play on the court or the friendship that was starting between us. Can we just forget about it?”

            “That actually sounds like a great plan. We’ll just go on like nothing ever happened. No one needs to know anyway, right?”

            “Exactly. So what are you doing?”

            “Well I went out for a run and now I’m just sitting around.”

            “You wanna come over? My parents are outta town and I’m a bit bored.”

            “I actually have to call Lauren she was suppose to come over and then yeh she didn’t so I need to call her. You understand right? Maybe tomorrow.”