“What do you mean?” the minute I asked that question I wish I hadn’t I knew the answer but I rather have just known and not have to hear it. Not have to let it sink in. Not have to take and let that be the outcome.

“I had to call and forfeit” Coach answered. I bowed my head, no reason to keep it up now. None at all. “Girls, go to your dorms and get some sleep. We have practice tomorrow don’t be late.” Coach hissed through his teeth. I could hear my team mates feet shuffling on the dry grass back to their dorm rooms. Regan took her time to walk pass me, slow and delibertlity. Once I knew that Coach and I were all alone I sank further in my skin. There was a pause that seemed like forever before he spoke his next words. “Corrine,” he began I shuddered.

“Yes Coach” my voice was now in a shaky whisper.

“Go get some rest too Corrine, we will deal with this tomorrow” Coach sadly replied as he walked pass me towards the Indoor Pool. I just stood there for what seemed like forever.

--

I laid on my bed staring particularly at nothing; beside me was my team Captain Shirt coach had given me. I had washed it, folded it and was just working up the nerve to go to his office to give it back to him or just hand it over to Regan all together. My head hurt, the buzz from last night was still strong and sleep was the only solution I could see working for me at the moment now that everything was shit. Yet, my weary eyelids continued to be wide open and my mind kept working and the wheels kept turning.

“Damn” I muttered.

“Damn indeed” I turned to see Abby leaning against my open door staring at me. I rolled over to my side, away from her, and exhaled.

“I told Janey I wasn’t in the move to talk” I began. “I’m still not”

“Good, then you can listen” Mike’s voice filled my ears causing me to turn over and see him standing behind Abby.

“Mike?” I sat up. “What are you doing here?” Mike and Abby walked into my room closing the door behind them. They took seats on my bed and stared at me.

“Well believe it or not mom and I were going to surprise you by going to your meet today.” I buried my face in my hands. “After an hour of waiting on steel cold benches we found out you guys weren’t coming”

“Shit,” Didn’t think this day could get worse or I could feel worse but here it was in my face a bad fucking feeling all together.

“Abby filled me in on what happened.” Mike began. “So Sis, what you gonna do about the team.”

“The best thing” I answered quickly.

“And that is?” Abby sat Indian style resting her elbows on her legs and holding her head up with her hands.

“Tell my coach I don’t want to be Captain anymore and quit fooling myself and wasting everyone’s time” I told them. My answer in sighted an eye roll from both of them.

“Corrine” Mike began slowly. “Corrine, please, you know I love you and what I’m about to say is going to hurt me more than you know but here goes”

“What is it?” I asked.

“Stop being a fucking pussy and get over yourself.” He screamed.

“I’m not a fucking Pussy” I defended.

“Yea you are, you hit a bump in the road and you quit?” Abby jumped in. “You have always been that way” Abby threw in but she immediately bit her lip and look towards my brother.

“Corrine” Mike caught on and quickly said my name “Abby and I have been in the same position you are in now and trust me you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t deserve it.”

“But I fucked up” I whined.

“It happens, it fucking happens, get over it and keep moving” Abby rubbed her head and stared at Mike. “Look your team needs you.”

“After what happened today I don’t think so” I answered

“You are passionate about this sport; you are fair, level headed and smart. And you can take on the world if you had to and if they needed you to hold the world on your shoulders you would if it was best for the team.” Abby bit her lip again. “What the hell makes you think your team doesn’t need that?” I bowed my head and nodded.

“Abby told me about this girl Regan that has had it out for you” Mike filled in the silence. “Corrine, stop trying so hard to prove her right and prove her wrong about you. You can run this team.”

“So after the disaster today, what do I do?”

“Your team needs you, you need to talk to them and get them straight” Mike answered. “As bad as you feel now they are feeling it to and they need to know they can trust you and follow you.”

“Okay” I nodded my head again and stood from my bed. “Hey ummm where’s mom” I turned around to Mike.

“Pepper and Ivy took her on a tour to some place called Peaches” Mike answered. Abby and I stared at each other. “Is there something I need to know?” Mike eyes darted from me to Abby.

“We better catch up with them” Abby and I said in Unison rushing out of the door with Mike on our heels.

--

Mom, Mike and I had decided to go out to dinner after dragging her out of Peaches. Damn Pepper and Ivy had coaxed my mother to drink a Peach Fire and now she was drunk, slumped over in the booth, eyes rolled back and laughing uncontrollably at everything and anything she thought was remotely funny. To keep from laughing Mike and I buried our heads in our plates and almost drowned ourselves in water to push down the laughter in our throats.

“So how long are you in town for, Mom?” I asked taking a spoonful of peas in my mouth and slowly chewing it. My mother lifted her head which looked like it weighed a ton and smiled drunkenly.

“For the weekend” she answered, and then belched so loud the people behind us turned and stared. “Well that goes for me I don’t know what to say about your brother.”

“Mike?” I raised an eyebrow. Mike lifted his napkin dabbing the corners of his mouth and smiled.

“I may be thinking of attending Pelch” I almost jumped out of my seat with excitement.

“Really?” I exclaimed. Mike put his hands up.

“It’s a thought CJ” Mike tried to sound thoughtful and reserved but I could see his excitement. “I mean I miss the college life and I only got one more year and I thought why not enjoy it here with my sister and be back on the football team and you know just have fun.”

“You miss it huh?” I asked him. He sighed and nodded slowly.

“Having that talk with you and Abby today really made me miss all of it. I had to keep remembering to keep my team life in the past tense and that really sucked.” Mom leaned over and gave Mike a big, wet kiss on the cheek.