My head was killing me, felt like someone was jack hammering in my skull.  After Janey ran and Abby disappeared I downed five ‘Peach Fires’.  Surprisingly, I was able to still stand on my two feet I helped carry Ivy to the couch while Pepper entertained the nameless guy in the room.

Tired, confused and drunk, I dragged with the remainer of my soberness to the bed and collapsed. I consciously licked my peach flavor lips that were slightly still burning from the kick the drink had and fell asleep. As the night turned today I wanted to just lie in bed and never touch the red carpet floor with my feet again. I buried my face more into the pillow shutting my eyes tightly trying to will myself back to sleep. My back to the door I was supposed to go out of for class that was less than a hour away. My back to everything.

“Might as well wake up and roll over, we aint got all day” Pepper’s voice pierced its way thought my clouded haze.

“I don’t know, you said she had five Peach Fires she may be down for the count” Ivy contorted.

“Fuck that shit” Pepper giggled “While you were passed out Corrine dug herself into a deep whole with Janey and Abby”

“In that order?” Ivy asked

“Nope, with one stone” Pepper answered.

“Oh hell no, wake up” Ivy screamed grabbing my shoulder so hard her fingernails dug into my skin and yanking me over. I tried to keep my eyes tightly shut in hopes they would just figure I didn’t want to talk about it and that is that. Yet, I knew better.

--

“Okay, okay” I rushed out of my room pulling on a red wife beater and buckling my jeans with the rips at the knees.  “I’m going to class” I grabbed my book bag from the door handle and slung it over my shoulder. Ivy and Pepper just stood in front  door leading to the hallway.

“Sit” Ivy pointed the couch. I tighten my grip on my back pack.

“Guys” I whined

“Sit” They both said in unison.

“Fine, fuck it” I growled walking to the couch and collapsing. Ivy and Pepper smiled at each other as they sauntered over to the couch and set down beside me. Ivy took out a quarter from her pocket and looked over at Pepper.

“Call it”

“Heads” Pepper answered quickly. Ivy flipped the coin catching it her hand and slamming it on the back of her other hand. She moved her hand away to see George Washington looking back at her. She pointed to Pepper.

“First question is yours.” Pepper smiled and looked at me. She rubbed her chin as she thought of the first question.

“Are you still in love with Abby?” The minute the words left her mouth made my whole body scream as it was engulfed in fire. I sprang from the couch rubbing my hands through my hair neverously.

“I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to talk about this” I screamed in frustration.

“I think that’s a ‘yes’” Ivy smirked.

“Fuck you” I shot back “Look I know we are girls but that doesn’t mean we have to talk about every fucking thing”

“Don’t be fake Corrine, I saw you two” Pepper sat back and crossed her legs. “The way you looked at each other, the way you touched each other. It was fucking without the ‘fuck’ and you know that.”

“So what the hell are you doing with Janey?” Ivy asked that hard question that I couldn’t seem to be running around my head.

“You know as well as we do you will never look at her the way you do Abby. You will never get that rush when you guys touch the way you do Abby. And you will never feel that complete and utter bliss, that fucking earth shattering, familiar, out of this world pleasure you would have when you guys do it when you are with Abby.” Pepper stood up her eyes scanning my every emotion.

“And you know that, Corrine” Ivy began. “You knew that the moment you and Janey walked into that Cafeteria and Abby walked past you but not without a look that told you all the possibilities you guys were gonna have if you walked in alone” I through my hands up in the air and took a deep breath.

“But it didn’t happen that way, I did walk in that Cafeteria with Janey, I made a commitment with her.” I swallowed. “So I will learn how to accept that decision and love Janey because she deserves nothing less.”

--

“MOVIE NIGHT!!!!” Pepper screamed as Abby let her into her dorm room. Pepper’s arms were full of old black and white love drama movies and popcorn bags. Abby just laughed taking the movies out of Pepper’s hand and leading her to her double room.

“The pizza just arrived, you like pepperoni right?” Abby asked as she settled the movies down on her dresser. Pepper could sense something was wrong as she watched the beautiful Latino move slowly to her VCR taking out a movie and sliding it in. Abby seemed distracted and sad, a bad combination. “VCR’s no one uses these things anymore”

“Yea but all the good oldies aren’t yet all converted to DVD’s” Pepper answered as she laid back on Abby’s bed.

“My thoughts exactly” Abby smiled as she walked to her bed and sat picking her knees up and putting them to her chest. Abby took a deep breath before turning back to look at Pepper. Pepper knew that stare and instantly felt uncomfortable.

“Abby, I can’t talk about you and Corrine’s relationship. It’s not my place” Pepper answered the unspoken question.

“So there is something?” Abby eyes lightened up. Pepper got up from the bed walking to the pizza box and taking a slice.

“You know this movie in particular is my favorite, have you seen it?” Pepper was trying to change the subject but the questions seemed to move over Abby’s head. “Come on Abby, you know this is a place I can’t allow myself to get backed into. I know you and Corrine have a lot of issues but this isn’t my place to talk about them.”

“But you can listen right?” Abby was begging and Pepper didn’t like her footing in all this. She took a deep breath her eyes moving about the room before nodding. Abby took a deep breath. “Does she still love me?”

“I’m not answering that” Pepper answered quickly “You wanted me to listen, then talk”

“How did we get like this Pepper?” Tears rolled down Abby’s eyes. “This situation is so fucked up I mean all I ever wanted was to be with her, and I fucked it up so badly and now…” Abby’s throat was throbbing with tears. “She can’t even look me in the eyes” Abby was in shambles, it was hard to see someone that was so strong be this crushed. “I miss her; I never stopped missing her, ever. And I let stupid shit get in the way of us. I loved her even before I knew the word and things weren’t supposed to be this way.”

“I don’t know what’s in store for you two but if you want to salvage anything you are gonna have to let go of what happened years ago. You guys have the worst time of holding on to your baggage and that’s all it really is, is baggage. It will weigh you down into the past. You were kids who had an adult relationship”

“And I fucked it up” Abby threw in.

“Adults fuck it up too, all the time” Pepper took a bite of her pizza and sat down next to Abby.

“We were such great at being friends, we never even gotten to the greatness of being a couple. I just wish we could start over.” Abby bowed her head in defeat.

“Who said you can’t?” Pepper asked.

--

“Come on Corrine, push it” Coach screamed “Push it” He ranted as he ran up and down the side of the pull yelling at me like he always did. I was submerged under water paddling to the end of the pull as we were engrossed in another hard ass practice. Once my fingers touched the edge I could hear the high shrill of the whistel as the race was over and I won. Regan and the others pulled themselves out of the water completely pissed at their defeat.