Chapter Eleven

The newspaper disturbed and blew out a layer of dust as it was slammed down on my bed covers, a tell tale sign that I had not slept in days. Lisa's eyes were ablaze as she stared at me, tears shimmering.
            "Why are you doing this?" she raged, "Why don't you just plead guilty and get it over with? Why would you want the world to see you like this?" she implored, motioning to the headline on the front of the Chronicle.
            I sighed and picked it up, casting an amused glance at it, "Jordan - Saint or sinner? Day three of her diary." I read aloud theatrically. I stared for a second at the image of myself on the front page. I didn't look like a serial killer I thought. Throwing the paper back onto the untouched bed, I turned to face the only friend I had made in a long, long time. "Lisa, we've been through all this...you know why I am writing these diaries. We need the world to understand about The Balance, to realise that I didn't kill these people because I'm evil--"
            "--What else would you call it?" she asked incredulously, "You have described in graphic detail how you murdered them in cold blood, for no other reason than because you and your...your deranged cult members decided that they didn't deserve to live! What gives you the right to decide Jess? Do you honestly think that the world is ready to believe in vampires? Do you?"
            I stepped back slightly, a little startled by her outburst. I must have looked wounded as she immediately followed me, a hesitant hand reaching out toward me, which I shrugged off. I felt hurt, betrayed by her. She had been my confidant during the last few insane months and now, here she was, doubting me. Anger welled inside me, the strains of the last few weeks and my unnecessary confinement finally stretching the boundaries of my patience.  I looked at her directly, moved slowly, but with intention, toward her, saw fear flash momentarily in her eyes as I backed her against my cell door. Trembling fingertips reached up to touch her cheek as I gave a slight smile and devilment must have danced in my eyes, for I felt it in my heart. She returned my smile hesitantly, finally pleased to have my attention, but now obviously not convinced she wanted it.
            We were inches away from each other, our lips almost touching.  I could feel the heave of her chest as she leaned into me, at the same time trying to back further into the door. I glanced down and allowed my gaze to follow her hand as it reached behind her for the handle of the door and then back to her face as I smiled fully into her eyes, challenging her. "So," I whispered into her mouth, my fingers toying with the first closed button of her pristine, white shirt and then moving to touch her neck and chin, "If there's no such thing as vampires," I continued, raining feather-like kisses up to her ear, my hands at her waist now, "then you have nothing to fear right?" I finished. I felt her release her grip on the door handle and her hands rise to find the back of my head instinctively. I felt urgent fingers in my hair, pulling me even closer to her.
            I hadn't expected an instant response and it threw me slightly. I stood upright once more to face her, searching her eyes for an explanation. All I saw was the fire of passion, clear and obvious, no room for mistakes. She held my gaze with confidence and ran her hands down the length of my back, to my hips, pulling my body into hers and willing me to kiss her. "I guess not." She said through heavy breaths, a smile playing on full lips that I was finding hard to resist. Everything told me this was wrong, sinfully wrong. A million reasons for me to back away tumbled through my thoughts like dice in a giant shaker and as I looked into her innocent face, humanity and respect for her world begged me to put a stop to proceedings. But her beauty captivated me, the normality of her being brought long buried familiarity to the fore and I embraced it like an old friend, her eyes were soft on mine as I fought with my conscience and the fire raging in my stomach.
             It had been a long time since I had felt warm hands on my skin, had lips this close to mine and felt another's desire for me, so transparent and untainted. Although my love for Gabrielle remained strong and resolute, I needed contact, needed love, to feel a heart beat against where my own should have been, despite the dangers. It never occurred to me that what I was about to do would be simultaneously running through Gabrielle's head like some awful, infidel home movie.
            I fielded one last futile effort of resistance as Lisa tried to draw me closer still. "It's not safe Lis, just because you don't believe, doesn't make it any less real. You could be in trouble, I--"
            "--Ssshh." She whispered, resting an index finger on my lips and then replacing it with her own. Her kiss was warm and soft, if not a little less hesitant than before. I half closed my eyes as she backed away slightly, holding my face in her hands, searching for the permission to continue. Taking my submission as just that, she brushed my lips once more, this time with a little more urgency. I was finally lost. As it turned out, so was she.
            I thought of nothing and no one else as I led her to the previously little-used bed in the corner of my cell and allowed her to undress me. Thanks to her, I had recently re-acquired my own clothes and in a perverse return of favour, it took her no time at all to have me out of them. She stared at my naked form in the semi-darkness as I relieved her of hers, hoping that she wouldn't notice the marks at the base of my neck. It didn't register that they smarted more than usual at the precise moment she ran her fingers over them, I all but ignored the not unpleasant burning sensation I felt. Questioning eyes searched mine as she lay beside me, still tracing an outline over the wounds. She would have asked questions that I could not and was not prepared to answer had I not caught her hand and moved it down the bed, away from my scars and towards a much more welcoming place.
            She needed no further encouragement as finally I kissed her with the passion she deserved and her fingers sought their ultimate goal. Months of loneliness, frustration and pent up desire surged through me, like flames through arid trees, as her tongue probed my mouth, her fingers,  my most intimate parts and her spirit, my inner soul. I allowed myself to be consumed by the passion I felt, by the moment, by her and only her.
            When it was over, I smiled. Climbing on top of her, moving hazel hair off her beautiful face, I bent to trace my tongue from her ear to the base of her neck, hesitating slightly before nipping gently at her skin. I heard her groan softly and entwine fingers in my hair, arching her body from the bed slightly. 
            She tensed slightly as I continued to take in her scent, to feel my primeval instincts surfacing once more and bite her skin with a little more meaning now.