I’m just sitting here on our leather couch barely paying attention to some boring comedy show that has not once made me laugh since I started watching it 22 minutes ago. I wonder how we got to this place, well not really wonder because I know the exact reason. She said no. She said we were too young and I reason that 22 is young, but I’m ready. We’re ready. I keep thinking back to 8 weeks ago, how my relationship with my girlfriend turned into shattered glass.

“Babe you look so beautiful.” I say to Eva.

 And she does look beautiful; perfect. Everything about her is prefect. I don’t know how she does it; one look into those green orbs, one sniff of her vanilla brunette hair makes me melt like ice cream on a very hot day. I could never live without her.

I could never live without her. I still think that’s absolutely true. I’ve told her countless times in our 2 ½ year relationship, and she’s said it back as many times, but now I wonder if she meant it all those times those words left her mouth and pierced my heart; my soul.

“You definitely don’t look to bad yourself, I must say.” She says while looking at me through our bedroom mirror.

She’s wearing a purple, a bit above knee length dress made of silk, Purple heals to match her purple dress, her hair is just past her shoulders and straightened just they way I love it and she’s putting on her last clear diamond earring I got her for our 1 year anniversary. There her favourite and she wears them every chance she gets. Me, I’m wearing a black suit pants with a white collared shirt; simple and she loves it. My hair is about neck length and I decided to straighten my light brown hair for this special occasion instead of my usual style; messy.

“Come here.”

She starts to walk over to me, and she stares straight into my eyes. I know she’s confused about this ‘random’ set up for dinner at a very expensive and fancy restaurant, but in due time she will find out. I wrap my hands around her waist and she wraps hers around my neck, pulling me into a soft kiss. I live for these moments. Even though the sex and make out sessions are amazing and pleasurable, little moments like these make me love her more. Not that the other big moments don’t, but these are special. She pulls away first and looks into my brown eyes, reading me like a book.

 “What’s wrong?” Even though I have given no sign that anything’s wrong, she can still tell.

“Nothing, I just love you so much it hurts.” She smiles and I lean down to hug her, but its the truth

I'm nervous. That’s what’s wrong. I don’t want her to say no because if she does... well... Maybe I shouldn’t do this.

“I can’t ever live without this; without you in my arms.” I tell her.

I hear her take a deep breath and she pulls her head back to look me in the eyes dead on.

“I could never live without you either.” She smiles a simple smile that makes me utter the next words:

“Let’s go babe.”

I should have just taken her out for dinner, nothing else. It ruined everything we had. Well, except the important things like love, loyalty, trust and stuff like that. But it ruined our communication and so much more. It broke us and I regret ever asking her.

            “Thanks for dinner babe. I’ve never been to that restaurant and it’s so good. A little expensive but it’s worth it.”

Money doesn’t matter to me because we have it. Were not the richest people on earth but were comfortable. We have money to spend. Ever since my mom died when I was 19 she left me loads of money. Eva on the other hand got a trust fund at 18 and has a lot of money in her pocket. Even though we both have money we don’t go crazy with it, and were not flaunting it or were not the snobby rich people either.

“Nothing’s ever expensive when it comes to you,”

I say this because of what’s in my purse. She’s the type of girl that would look inside catalogues and circle what she wanted. Even though she wouldn’t go buy it herself even though she could, she never did. And fortunately for me she leaves them under our coffee table.

Were walking on a board walk and it’s about 9:15 pm. The stars are out and the beach is near enough we can here the waves crashing together. The moonlight shines on her face and the beauty she has along with the moonlight is just surprising. I never thought I would ever have a girl like this. I turn towards her stopping her from walking and were now face to face. I'm looking in those green eyes and mine start to water. I grab her other hand and she looks at me with love and concern in them and I know she’s about to ask what’s wrong.

“What’s—“ I cut her beautiful voice off,

“Eva, baby I know we haven’t known each other for along time, well no 3 years is along time I think and I’m glad we started our relationship off as friends because I got to know you and your secrets and I feel like everyday we spend together, is one more day I fall in love with you. Even when were not together I can’t stop thinking about you. And our friends get mad at me because all I ever really talk about is you. When we make love, it’s so perfect and even when we fuck or just want to get off, its still special because when were done, you always have the look of love on your face. I’ve always said I couldn’t live without you and I mean it 100% and always will. So uhm,”

I fumble nervously for the ring in my right pocket; I finally get it out and she sees the ring box and her hands fly over her mouth and she starts crying. I’ve seen enough movies to know that’s either bad or good but I got to just lower myself on my knee and just ask to actually know which one it is. I lower myself on my right knee and put my hands just about to her waist level and open the box.

“Will you marry me? Be my wife forever?”

I stare into her eyes with a smile on my face. She looks from me to the ring. It’s the ring she circled a billion times in one of the catalogues and I know she loves it. She removes her hands from her mouth and looks at me. The silence is getting to me and I’m starting to get nervous and I ignore the pain in my knee from me landing on a small but painful space between two boards to focus on her. My arms starting to hurt and I’m ignoring that to. I just want her to say yes; be mine forever.

“Keny—I—“

She doesn’t know what to say. The big smile drops off my face but I stay on my knee. Hoping she just can’t find the word I want to hear.

“Babe we’re just—“

From those three words I know she doesn’t want to marry me. Tears threaten to fall on dress shirt, but I try not to cry. I stand up and stay facing her. She throws her arms around me and I stiffen from her touch. The rejection hurts more than anything. She notices my stiffness and pulls back.

 “Babe—“

I cut her off again for the second time tonight. I don’t want to hear anything from her right now. A tear falls from my eye as I speak.

“Let’s go home.”